So since my last post there have been a few interesting developments in the quest for Thailand life. I think at this point, it’s easy to say that I am freaking out. I still don’t feel like this is happening and there is a little voice in the back of my mind that is telling me I’m making a mistake. Here is what has transpired thus far:
My Precious Penny
In order for me to successfully move my life to a foreign country, I need to tie up any loose ends I have back here in Montreal. First order of business, my car. Penny, my white 2014 Toyota Corolla is my first ever car. I began leasing her shortly after my 21st birthday as a gift to myself. I had just changed retail jobs and was making some good money… I figured it was a good time to invest. At the time, I didn’t have the savings needed to buy a used car and I also didn’t want to have to deal with the unpredictability of an older vehicle. I was still studying full-time at Concordia University in downtown Montreal and a car would make the long commute from the West Island suburbs so much easier. Rather than taking multiple busses and metros, I could drive myself to the train and be at school in about an hour.
A friend’s father worked at the local Toyota dealership and he hooked me up. Penny was beautiful. She only had 12,000km on her from her time as a demo model and she came with everything. All I had to worry about was signing my name on a line and making sure my bank account had enough money in it for the automatic monthly withdrawals. I was dedicated to her for five whole years. At the time, it sounded perfect. I imagined myself being in a much different place five years in the future. I figured I would be working in my career, moved into an apartment with my boyfriend, and looking at potential engagement rings… life couldn’t be more different from what I expected. Here I am four years later, single as f, working full-time as a waitress, living with my parents, and looking to move to Asia. Now I have 14 months left on my lease contract, and I need to get out of it.
I could theoretically keep the car and go travel anyway, but I remember when I was in Thailand last October that I felt I was forced to come home because I had financial responsibilities waiting for me. What if I end up doing something amazing in Thailand and want to stay longer? What if I want to visit another country while I’m away? I don’t want to be forced to come home just to deal with a stupid car. Not to mention, getting rid of it would free up an extra $300 a month that I don’t need for car payments and insurance… meaning more travel time, and more experiences.
Selling my Baby
I wrote a post on a community Facebook page to see if anyone had any advice on how to go about it. Instantly, as I expected, Leasebusters was suggested. What caught me by surprise though was that other people were interested in the car for themselves! Maybe I wouldn’t need to go through Leasebusters to send Penny to a new home. With this in mind, I created an ad on Facebook marketplace and another community Facebook group. I’ve already had a handful of inquiries, and we’ll see how it goes.
While this is all very exciting, and it feels like things are falling into place… it also feels strange. Last night, as I was talking to a coworker about my plans (I have yet to tell my boss), I felt a sense of panic. All I could think of is that when I get home, I will have no money, no job, and no car. Is this smart? No. Should I be doing this? Maybe??? I suddenly began questioning what it was I was doing. I felt confident in my decision, so why am I having second thoughts now? I literally felt so much anxiety in that moment that my mind started racing back and forth between what was the right thing to do and what was the wrong thing to do. But the thing is, there is no right answer.
The Next Steps
No one can tell us what path we need to be on. All I know is that I’m currently on a path towards self-discovery but I’m not exactly sure where that path leads to. To make matters even more complicated, as I was sitting at my favourite soup dumpling restaurant this afternoon, I received a phone call. It was the company that almost hired me a few months ago. The company that I thought I was going to work for. The company that I saw my nearby future with. They have another marketing position open, and they see me as a good candidate. I didn’t even apply for this! Is this one of those moments that happens to women trying to conceive? As soon as they stop trying to get pregnant, it happens? I’ve officially stopped trying to pursue my career for the next few months, and now I’m getting a phone call for a potential interview?
As I sat in that restaurant, chopsticks in hand, my future started to flash before my eyes. Thailand started to flash before my eyes. What am I going to do? I obviously need to keep my options open. I have been looking for my career for over a year. I’m not in the position to say no to an opportunity. I’m going to have to see what happens. I’m going to go through the interview process and see what comes of it.
But what about my car? Am I going to sell Penny if I end up staying in Montreal? Am I really going to stay in Montreal? How long do I wait before making a decision? What about Thailand? What about this crazy, life-altering journey?
Understandably, I’m stressed out and overwhelmed to the max. But right now I just kind of need to let things run their course. Only time will tell.